Prom is Friday. I literally have to devote all of it to getting ready. Wednesday, June 9, 2010
stuck at prom
Posted by Jenny Suburbs at 11:17 PM 0 comments
Prom is Friday. I literally have to devote all of it to getting ready. Tuesday, June 8, 2010
dignified worship: i has it.
Posted by Jenny Suburbs at 3:50 PM 0 commentsMonday, June 7, 2010
The Afterprom
Posted by Jenny Suburbs at 11:59 PM 0 commentsProm 2.0: the Explicit Version.
The war. I won it. I should take a victory lap. I feel like I just killed a rabid panther with my bare hands. I felled an empire with a slingshot. I slayed a dragon with a toothpick. I can go to afterprom. Afterprom is the party following prom where people do things that could get them sentenced to an afterlife of the Hellish variety. Normally, some enterprising individual will rent out club space in the city and charge admission. Tickets are a certain price and said individual usually makes a killing.
This year, Betty Walker rented out the ballroom of a hotel. It’s gorgeous and tickets are $55 a pop. More for VIP tickets. Plus limo fees. It will be full of writhing bodies and sin and substance abuse. Part of the prom experience.
And I won the battle. I can go. We’ll go from prom, change into our afterprom dresses, and party it up. afterward we’ll crash in some hotel room Luna’s friend rented.
The battle with my parents was epic. They don’t know how bad it gets, or they’d never let me go. Still, I’ve promised to stay with Tucker AT ALL TIMES. I text them every time I change locations. I have the local police precinct on speed dial. They’re so naïve.
I’m feeling…optimistic. I can go out there, I can be that girl, I’ll be just like everyone else. Sometimes conformity is a comfort. It’s strange. Now that I fit in with people…now that I act like them, at least on the surface, they know who I am. I guess sheep don’t look the same to other sheep.
Tucker and I will dance and Luna and I will do the girl bathroom buddy thing. I’ll see Ashley with her soon-to-be-ex, James of the wandering ways, and I will tell her how gorgeous and kickass she looks. Tucker’s Round Table will be momentarily stunned, then hit me with a barrage of witty and vastly gratifying flattery. Ivan, from my English class, whom I’ve always had a soft spot for, will turn his attention away from his incomparable date for just a second when I walk by. I will see and be seen. And I’ll leave my thoughts here.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Swans Mate for Life [it's all a lie!!]
Posted by Jenny Suburbs at 12:30 AM 0 commentsToday I walked in during a free and a junior I know by sight was sobbing her poor little eyes out in the bathroom. She was one of those girls that wore so much mascara it looked ridiculous with her blonde hair. I’ve never seen the point in makeup that heavy for a day-to-day basis. What better way to prove you’re insecure than advertise that you cake on make up?
Now, she had raccoon eyes and black streaks down her cheeks. She heard me come in and defiantly wiped her cheeks and met my eyes. I hesitated, thinking about Luna. But I decided to be like Tucker and do what I wanted, despite what she’d say.
“Ashley…you alright? You want me to take you to the nurse?”
She glared at me and wet a paper towel. “Get out, Jane. I don’t need your pity or whatever.”
“It’s Jenny.” Woah. I’m never that assertive. I guess it helped that she was the vulnerable one here. And I knew she knew my name.
“Whatever.” She dabbed under her eyes. It wasn’t helping much.
“Seriously,” I said. “I won’t tell anyone.” I rummaged through my bag and pulled out a little tin of Vaseline lip therapy. “Here. If you rub it in than wipe it off, it’ll remove the makeup.”
She looked at it for a minute then snatched it out of my hand. Guess she cared about appearances, too. She rubbed it in and then wiped with the towel. She inspected her cheek and looked at me, surprised. “Woah,” she said.
“Yeah,” I replied, smiling. “It’s a good trick.”
“I should’ve known this would happen,” she muttered.
“What?” I asked, startled.
“My boyfriend. He…last weekend…ick. He hooked up with one of my friends.”
“James,” I said. “You’re dating James, right?”
“Yeah. Huge mistake.” She smiled bitterly. “Apparently, it’s been going on for a while. That’s what I get for trusting that jerk.”
“Um, if it’s any comfort, you’re prettier than he deserves.”
She blinked. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve heard another girl my age say that and mean it. Thanks.”
I shrugged.
“Why can’t people be like swans?” she asked.
“What?” I said. For once, I wasn’t the one leading with the non-sequiturs.
“Swans,” she said. “They bond for life.”
“Actually, they don’t. They’re unfaithful like every other species ever, basically.”
She looked at the ground again. “How do you know?”
“Some scientists gave paternity tests to the children of a bunch of animals. Something crazy like 50% of fathers were raising kids that weren’t theirs. I’ll message you the Times article.”
“Well, shit. I guess I’ll never find a good guy.” She smiled sadly. She was smiling a lot, even though she was clearly upset. And she was being pretty cool about my nerdy word vomit. I liked her.
“There’s still hope. There’s some kind of worm that like fuses their body together. They never cheat.”
“So…what? I find a guy and become a level 5 clinger? Or put him on a leash?”
“Screw that. Find one that wants you so bad he wouldn’t mind fusing to your hip.”
“Then he’s clingy! I don’t want that.” She giggled. “I have a friend whose bf gave her his Facebook password the first week they were together. They’re disgustingly cute. But it’s not my style.”
I shrugged and smiled again. “Then find one from like the 50% who don’t cheat. Not one like James, a nice one.”
“Like your boy Tucker?” she said, smiling slyly.
I blushed and looked at the ground and couldn’t get the words out to say we were just friends.
She laughed. “Nah, it’s cool. Congrats on prom, though. Luna must be pissed.”
We walked out together.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Do I Buy the Boutonniere?
Posted by Jenny Suburbs at 1:40 AM 0 commentsEarlier this Week:
“Go to prom with me.”
I laughed. Tucker stared at me. “Tucker, you’re going with Luna. Luna, your best friend? You asked her in March, for crissakes.”
“Luna and I aren’t going together. So much the better.” He waited. I began to get annoyed.
“That’s it? You simply aren’t going? Does she know this? Is she gonna come claw my eyes out or what?”
“Look, it’s not that big a deal. We had a tiff.”
“A tiff?” I screeched. “So you’re giving me two weeks to find a dress, shoes, hair, makeup?!”
“It’s a little more than two weeks. And, well, you are an underclassman.”
I smiled in that snarky way I learned from my mother. “So I should be grateful.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. It’s just…” He growled and ran his hands through his hair, muttering apologies and curses.
I grabbed his hand. “Tucker, talk to me. What is going on?”
He sighed, angrily. “Luna and I had a fight.”
“Obviously.”
“She got asked to prom by one of her puppy dogs. And she tried to use it to make me jealous. And I got mad at her, since we’re only going as friends. And she said that since I like you so much better, I should take you. And I screamed fine!, and that I spend so much more time with you because she’s too busy playing at ringleader and playacting for her adoring fans.”
“…Tucker…What. Are. You. Talking. About. Adoring fans?”
“Look, you…Ugh. You don’t know her like I do. She puts on these airs. She constantly has to be witty and mysterious and she puts so much effort in to seeming spontaneous that she wears herself thin. A personality can’t be stretched out like that.”
“Tucker, that’s ridiculous. Luna doesn’t put anything on; she just is.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t see her like I do. There’s something wrong with her. Everything she does is adopted and calculated for effect.”
“I think maybe you’re just disenchanted. I think she just is that way and you’re trying to impose order on chaos, trying to find some reason for her method or madness. But you’re wrong. Luna, like the universe, tends toward entropy.”
“We’ll have to agree to disagree. Come to prom with me, and we’ll debate it further.”
“So you’ll stick it to Luna by proving her right?”
“No. I’m sick of doing things because of how they look to other people. Come with me because I want you to. It’s only junior prom, but at least this way I’ll remember it fondly.”
I know we all say that we don’t care about appearances, that we shouldn’t. But appearances are social glue. Your standing, your job, your college acceptances; it’s all about how people perceive you. And when you can’t hold that together, when you can’t project the illusion of some conformity, you lose ground. People want to know where you stand.
So Jenny, the lowly sophomore, the girl who can’t seem to color in the lines no matter how she tries, will trot through the prom dog-and-pony show. She’ll carefully slip on an over-sized corsage and stilt-wobble out in a new pair of heels and endure the faux-romance of the “just friends” couple at prom. All because Tucker has unraveled so much that he can’t be worried about appearances.
So my weekend was spent with all three of us ignoring the obvious issues. Keeping up appearances, if you will. Luna offered to go dress shopping with me tomorrow. Peace offering or obvious condescension? Or a pointed "I don't care" statement?